I’ve been holding on to this pic since February; I know stupid right? I felt it was never the right moment to post it. I’d been waiting for the perfect time, the perfect moment, the perfect idk. Please tell me I’m not the only person who has a crap ton of pictures in their camera roll waiting to be posted. And you’ve actually posted a few of them, but delete ’em after 2 seconds because you felt it wasn’t the right time. Oh, just me? OK.
I was going through my camera roll, deleting random pictures, came across this one, and said to myself, “Why have you not posted this damn picture Shanna” and went to post it and 2 seconds later, deleted it. It’s not the right moment I said to myself. And now it’s hot as fire outside and you posting winter pics, it going yo throw off your feed. Then I thought, well when is the right time?
This whole holding on to a picture goes deeper for me.
I have a notebook full of ideas; books I want to write, videos I want to make, photo content I want to shoot, a fashion series I want to start, the draft of a TV pilot I worked on years ago, a vintage clothing store I want to open; so much stuff. And I’ve just been hanging on to these ideas because I’ve convinced myself it’s not the right time to explore these ideas any further than my notebook. So my ideas just sit there and when I come across someone doing what I jotted down in my notebook I’m overcome with a mixture of anger and sadness; both stemming from the metal kicks I give myself for not just pulling the trigger. Again, please tell me I’m not the only person who does this??
Take the book I want to write for example; I have this grand plan to write and shoot everything in the fall/winter and then release it in spring/summer. I want to plan a small book launch and do a little local press tour; I can see it all so vividly in my head as if it’s happened already. I have even talked about this idea to a few friends thinking it would keep me accountable, but I talked myself out of it saying to myself “Not the right time.” Or the photo content I want to create. I will plan the shots I want to get, looks to go along with them, set a date to shoot with Sandy and at the last second say to myself, “Not right now. Experiment another time”. I’m currently staring at a post-it note filled wall with cool photo and quick video content I want to create but that voice…that stupid ass voice in the back of my mind.
It took the time we are living in right now to realize the perfect time doesn’t exist and the time to do something is the time you want to do it. There is no need to wait or second guess yourself, just do it. I mean I’ve always known that just an action I’ve never put in practice. And while at the current state the world is I can’t do a few of the things that are on my list, I can at least get the ball rolling. AND let me be clear, this is not a post to “motivate” you to do anything or make it seem as if not being productive during this time is a waste. Some of us just need to do what we need to do to come out of this mentally in a good place; this is just my thoughts throwing up all over this post.
XOXO,
Shanna