11 lessons i’ve learned being a mother…so far

This will be my 11th Mother’s Day.

HOLY CRAP!

I’ve been doing this mother thing for 11 years. I’ve been know to kill house plants and small animals but I have somehow managed to keep a human alive; and he’s not knocking on death’s door!! After 11 years and a few different stages, I’ve learned a thing or two and I’m sharing them today with you guys!

 

1. 1. It takes a village! I can’t stress this enough! You need people to bounce ideas off, you need people to take over when you’re in a jam, you need someone to listen to the good, the bad and the really bad. You need back up when your kid thinks it’s a good idea to cut their eyebrows with a razor for no reason what so ever! A well rounded child has more aunts and uncles and grandparents they can stand. They have a whole team of people rooting for them and ensuring they stay on the right track. So build your village of people you trust, who will tell you straight and keep you straight…especially when all 30 of them fuss at them about the shaved eyebrows lol
   2. Do as I say, Not as you see! Ummmmm yeah this rule doesn’t fly…like at all and nor should it. If you want your kid to eat veggies, I hope you’re eating some and if you want them to stay off their phones…well put yours down! Kids will NEVER listen to what you say and will ALWAYS mimic what you do, so be sure you show them the way and not just tell them.
   3. Pick your battles! Oh Lord, I can hear my mother’s voice telling me this for the 100th time. This is still a lesson I’m still learning but not everything needs to be a fight, nor should it be. If they want to wear white sneakers with an outfit and you had your mind fixed on the blue ones, don’t battle over it. The older they get, the more battles you will have and you have to pick them wisely. So let the little battles go and worry about the wars.
   4. Let them! I still at times have to catch myself with this one but allow your child to express themselves without you trying to change them to fit what you see for them. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I wanted my son to play the piano and when it was time he had no more interest in that piano than the man in the moon! He wanted to play the guitar and as much as I groaned about it, I let him because he’s not the image of him I see. He is is own person and you have to let them be that.
   5. Take time for yourself! This is a lesson I learned a few years in this motherhood journey but in order to be an effective mommy or daddy, you need to take time to recharge. It doesn’t have to be anything major like a week long Hawaii vacation (but that would be nice lol), just dinner out with friends or shipping them off to the grandparents for a day will give you the mental break you need to keep pushing.
   6. For Heaven’s sakes, put a band-aid on it! I get it. Johnny fell and scraped his knee and he’s screaming bloody murder and it does look a bit bad, but you just took him to the hospital last week for cough and two days before for a splinter and yesterday for small bump. Not every bump or bruise or scrape requires a trip to the ER…trust me. Kids are constantly beating themselves up you just have to know what injury is worth a trip to the doc. So unless it’s broken or really bleeding, wait a bit. If it’s really that serious, trust me you will know!
   7. Be Cool! There is not a stage in a kids life that they won’t test every bit of patience you have and even some you didn’t know you had but you have to try your best to keep calm. I’m still working on this one myself; my kid is entering his teen years and sometimes my nerves are past plucked but I just take a deep breath and keep my cool because you can’t let them see you sweat! Kids are smart and if they see what makes you lose your cool, trust me they will keep doing it. So take a namaste moment the next time they are testing your patience!
   8. Let them fall! And as I write this, a lump sit in my throat. As a parent you want to protect them from everything and when you see them falling, you want to help them but there are times when you are going to have to let them fall. It’s the only way they are going to learn how to pick themselves back up when they are no longer with you. I can tell you first hand that it hurts to see them fall but I know in the long run it’s for the best. Allow them to ask for your hand to get up instead of always being there and who knows, when you think they are going to fall is the moment when they will learn to fly.
   9. Collect memories, not pictures! I see so many parents posting every little thing their child does, capturing every little moment through the lens of their phones. PUT IT DOWN SOMETIMES! There are some memories that I don’t have on tape and that’s because instead of being so focused on trying to capture the moment, I was in the moment. Some moments in their lives are suppose to live on in your heart, not your Iphone.
   10. Put down the parenting books, you got this!  Those parenting books are bullshit, sorry to burst your bubble but they are. As a parent you know your child and you now what is best for them so go with you instincts because they are never wrong. I’m not saying you can’t refer to a book or two from time to time but don’t use them as the end all be all when it comes to raising your child. You will find yourself in a constant state of doubt on whether you are doing things right. Trust yourself, you got this!
   11. This stage will pass! You think it will never end and it will be like this forever but trust me it will pass; I for one can’t wait until this pre,pre teen phase is over! When you are in the thick of it, it seems bad…really bad; hello cranky newborn or the terrible two phase or the smart mouth soon to be pre-teen but they make it through and so do you. So keep that in mind when you are at your wits end, this is going to pass.

 

And there you have it! The 11 lessons I’ve learned so far as a parent. If you’re a new parent, I hope you find these lessons helpful and remember YOU GOT THIS! If you’re a parent, make sure you leave any lessons you have in the comment section below!

To all the Mother’s out there, have a wonderful Mother’s Day!!! 

 

 

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